tap my glass

so much to say, but so little to come out. Is this desire? Is this desire lame? I think i know what its a product of, this shite is bad for the blog. But its great for overexposing pointless leg photos.

As usual, the night started off less than spectacular, but different. Dinner for a friends birthday. I realized i needed to leave the fox round 12:30 when that spark of emotion cleaned my insides when i got the brush off for a game lost. Not sure why i’m sensitive about that, but i am. I need to grow a bit to be able to take a loss, and a little rub in, in stride.

Regardless, all got much better after that. When you’re hugging 2 beautiful girls within 2 minutes of walking into your fav friday night hangout, things are going spectacularily well and you’d be more than happy to end the night just like that. But for me there was more in store. Not a lot, but some stuff… 3 ladies, one whom introduced herself as more of a puma than a cougar, solicited ME for conversation/answers/whatever. Wow. This so rarely happens, but really needs to more often. I’m a shy dude but for the number of times i’ve initiated contact, only a tenth of the time has it happenned to me. Anyways, kate, lasha, and brenda, all had guesses throughout the night as to my age, best bests were 23 or 27. The little tap tap on my shoulder at 2:15 always feels good, when it comes from an older woman feigning interest makes the whole week complete. Ahhh…. anyways a good laugh was had, and they made my night.

I also handed out a few flyers for a party that will happen at a house that i live in 3 weeks. I missed a few folks, but theres always the next 2 fridays.

And now, its too late to think, but check this costume out, magnifique!!!! The girl on the left is very hot in a semi-nasty way, could be the lipstick, but i love the lipstick… hmmmm. Ya, i guess i do love the lipstick. Not sure why that is, but its hot.

Its thursday before halloween weekend. Can you believe the concept of a halloween weekend? I guess its been formulated in my, and others minds, because a weekend is the only time we can go out and ‘have a good time’ without the consequences of a 9-5 getting in the way. If non-children, or non-having-children people want to ‘celebrate’ halloween, when to do so? On the weekend preceding it of course! All this is bloody obvious, but silly in a way.

I really don’t care for halloween. I was never an actor, always a horrible liar, and i never had the urge to be anyone else. Why would i want to dress up as anyone else? Then i come back to the fact that when you’ve got a good costume, and are surrounded with others making believe, it is damn fun to act like someone else or at the very least, look like someone else…. agg. I think halloween is my most cynical time of year. And xmas. But more so halloween, i just want it to end. Valentine’s day can be pretty cynical too, but its always semi-hopeful/melancholy, and definitely revealing and telling and i can learn something about myself and others. For some reason i shut my mind down during this time. Must be trauma. Damn deja vu. I’ve said all this before… (scanning old entries). Ok not here, we’re good. Please phycoanalyze away.

Computer, not yet back, but problem found by mad scientist looking computer fixer dude with a wedding ring. Good for him, i hope he can fix my problem.

Not much going on here. Biding my time till other stuff comes up like:
- halloween comes and i either do something fun and exciting or i dress up in my own skin
- my tenants move out, should be on sunday
- do a bunch of reno’s
- have my whole house party next month
- roast leftover tomatos

I did forget to mention that i did try out the sweet potato recipe again. And… well… i just don’t think sweet potatos are well suited for gnocchi, i think they’ve too much gluten or something, they were way to constricted, didn’t roll well, and still had a too firm texture. Taste was ok, but texture was over the top, even with ap flour. I think i’ll go back and try the original gnocchi again with russet’s or yukon golds just to make sure i’m not crazy.

What else… my computers in the shop again. I’m not convinced anymore that it is a hardware problem, but i’ve gotta try. The dude thats doing the testing is pretty bright, very geek like, and seems genuinely committed to finding the problem, whether it’s his or not. This is good. The bad news is they moved into a location next to kfc on merivale and i have to smell it and be tempted by it everytime i go. Whats the deal with fast food smells? So overpowering, so gross, yet so tempting… mmm big crunch. I haven’t had a big crunch in 5 years and i still think i love them. Probably cause they taste awesome, but is it really food??? Is it? I don’t know anymore. Theres this pro fat/cholesterol dude out there that seems to have some interesting opinions. I don’t know what to make of it but one thing did ring a bell - when i eat food, which is normally lo in protein and high in carbs, i get tired. A big plate of veggie pasta? Tired. O ya. Might have some correlation, i always thought you were supposed to feel tired after food… perhaps not.

Ok thats it. Now what to do with the rest of my night with no windows xp? Linux poker? Naww… i think i’ll eat some food and play my guitar. Theres this contest where dude’s like Tom Waits are judging for the best songwriting/song. I might enter if i can ever get around to recording something i like. Of course i have no processing capability here, but lo tech is good right? One of these days i’ll get an mbox and start my rockstar career, but that day has yet to arrive.

I’ve got lots to do this weekend, and most of it to be done today. Luckily most of it will be fun and rewarding… stuff like painting one of my hot water rads, o ya. Oh that reminds me, i should shut it off… yep, its a whole action packed day round my household. I might even get to fix a storm window whose prong has recently broken off. Oh ya. But in seriousness, i got nothin else to do except be lazy, so this suits me fine.

It was long week that is now over, which is good, but i’m faced with an even longer weekend. I’m not complaining, but whoa, i am a little overwhelmed. For the moment, its pre-noon on saturday, and i think i’ll drink some coffee and surf the internet, mabye get a thing or two done.

By the way, broken social scene on thursday was kickass, but was there any doubt. Feist was there and did half the numbers. They’ve got this other new girl too who was angelic in presentation. Ya, it was a good time, although capital when sold out for non rock shows kinda blows. Its bss so theres no tuff guys which is good, you get that “o sorry man”, and “can you just toss this beer on the bar for me? thanks man” kindof cheerful guy banter. I guess the girls are fine too, but they just squeeze in wherever they want with no (and rightfully) fear of recourse. I’m just getting old i guess.

First, today’s 3 fortunes:

You are kind-hearted and hospitable,
cheerful and well-liked.

People find it difficult to resist your
persuasive manner.

Anyways in a nutshell:

Ok, thats all i have to say, its just not the same without being able to put up and screw with pictures i desperately want to show!!! Hopefully in the next few days that’ll all be figured out. Thursday should be super kick ass, broken social scene at capital, the last time they played there i just loved it, it blew me away. Now i’ve seen them once since then, they’ve got more stuff, more memories, more gaul, and hopefully equal style, it should be good.

- crying
- crasstastic
- copulation
- corruption (of montreal police officers)
- capitalism
- corgan
- code
- caustic
- cynthetic

And then, we were. Now, its normal that we walk around with two arms, a head, two legs. This is who and what we are, as humans. There is nothing all that different, we are what we are. Thinking as a mind, as a conciousness, its rather absurd, we look incredibly comical. But after so long, and having all this in common with all around us, how could we spend time analyzing our absurb composition?

I wonder if we were smaller, perhaps a tenth or so the size, would things taste as good? Assume we were composed in a very similar manner, but our toungues would be one tenth the size, one tenth the molecules, and perhaps, one tenth the taste power. Food would (or perhaps not) be all the same size, but our smaller tounges would not have the same potential to grasp the diversity of their delicatly formed molecular structures. Perhaps if we were ten times bigger, taste would have a whole order of magnitude more meaning to us. You’d have your cayenne spicy, and your wasabi spicy, plus another ten categories, all not requiring a trained toungue. Even a thirty foot youngster could decipher the difference, but still realize they hated it all, and regret turning 18 and having missed out on so much kick.

I think its safe to assume we are a very ‘efficient’ breed. We are this size because our surroundings, including our food, dictate so. I think its also safe to assume i have no point, i had to practically carry my brother home, i picked a caution light up off the street and stood it up straight, and i blew all this crap from my fingers and brain all in an effort to fight the entropy of the universe. But evolution, if obeying such laws, would’ve given us 3 legs, 4 arms, no thumbs, and a toungue that required external influence to actually taste anything (think acid/base). I can’t fight change, but i can open a dialogue with it.

Its been a long busy week of eating turkey gumbo leftovers all frickin week, i’m so sick of it and think i’ve put on some weight. It was good, but way too much… works been busy, been playing far too much poker. Saw Elliott Brood on wednesday, it was awesome, hopefully some pics soon - i’ve been a little detached from this and my regular online life cause my computer is ‘in the shop’. Some hyperthreading/processor/motherboard crap methinks, hopefully they don’t say ‘reinstall windows’. That would suck. Anyways, i can’t upload pics right now, i’m using my router to write this as i speak. Yes.

I wish it wasn’t so gloomy outside. I sk8ed home last nite round 1am and had my first bail in years, hit a crack crossing somerset on percy, went flying, plump right into the pavement. For some reason the rain and wet ground made it feel a bit softer, at least i didn’t chew my hands up. My right hip is sore and bruised and hurts when i run. Waa waa waa, bitch bitch bitch. Thats all i have to say. Friday is here, the best time of the week, friday eve is a 9to5ers utopian time to take on the world and feel as free as ever, and i do, and i will… for tonite anyways.

So i stayed in today. Cooked, cleaned (a bit), listened to tunez, played some tunez, screwed up what i was trying to bake, did some laundry, watched tv, computerized, and drank some wine. I tried baking some rolls - i screwed up the first batch, cause while i did the preferment step, i forgot to add it!! Then i said “flours cheap, lets just do another load and see which tastes better” (i talk to myself all the time, so i really did say that)… i’m pretty sure the preferment load does taste better, but for the 4+ hours of prep, its definitely a skippable step! I gotta figure out how to get a thinner crust too, mine were thick. And not smooth at all. But pretty tasty, warm bread is always tasty.

I did do up the turkey broth too. Made a turkey gumbo with massive cajun spices, shrimp from the freezer, beans, golden beets (what the hell are those anyways!), and a whole wack load of other stuff. Damn kickin cayenne action knocked me in my ass, but is dang satisfying! Tons leftover, lunch and dinner for the week, woohoo!!!

Do you think i’m cooking and enjoying cooking to escape from something else? In retrospect, this is a good possiblity… on 2nd thought I’m going to ignore that moment of insight in favour of putting the leftovers away and having another glass of wine.